I am so confused right now...I just cannot even seem to figure out who I am, what I am, where I am...if I am even meant to be here anymore. Nothing seems to be going right anymore. I am just tired everything I seem to go for go so fucking terribly wrong.

I guess George was right, maybe I do need to go see a shrink. Maybe they can help me...Its just, I am so scared of being judged once I let everything out that has been bottled in for so long. There is things in there that nobody knows but me, not even my closest of friends and family.

I am just so depressed. Days just keep dragging by, with nothing going right. I am so tired of hurting George, making him seem so sad, scared, or angry. Those have to be the worst emotions that I see in him and it is all my fault. I want someone to talk to, but I am scared.

I guess it really doesn't matter anymore. I have already thrown my life away. Nothing I can really fix anymore. But maybe I can...just need those certain people to hold me up, help me through this harsh time.

But whatever, like anyone cares...

Lainey